Truth Is...

I AM my own worst critic! I guess sometimes my blog posts can somewhat lead my readers (that do not know me personally) to believe that I used to be this terrible person. I am always commenting about how far God has brought me. When really I was mostly just a naive and immature girl who made some really poor decisions, which resulted in my current circumstances. I suppose when I compare myself to some of my peers (which I avoid doing), I really wasn't that bad. But of course I was, and still am, far from perfect. What's funny is... before I developed a relationship with God, I was so concerned about making my life seem as if everything was perfect... that I had it all together. But now that I know God and have a relationship with Him, I'm acutely aware and not ashamed of how imperfect I am. I will always be the first to admit that I don't have it all together. God is continuously working on me, which is a good thing. I always say and truly believe that no other human being will ever judge me harsher than I, at one time, judged myself. My grandmother had her first child at the age of 16 and my mother had me at the age of 16. Still, I never... NEVER thought that I would have my first child at age 20 and have a total of three children before even being married. I am aware that to some people this is not so much of a big deal. But to me... it's huge! As a young girl, I knew perfectly in my mind how my life was suppose to play out. However, my actions did not coincide with my ideal thoughts. The bottom line is, things just don't happen the right way or the way we want them to... we actually have to be wise in our decision making and choose the right choices. We should never have an "It can never happen to me" attitude about anything (as I once did) because it can and will happen to us if we are careless.

The caption of this blog is a scripture that suggests that sorrow is not a bad thing and is better than laughter. This doesn't mean that I believe people should be sorrowful and I certainly don't want them to be. Anyone who knows me knows how much I LOVE to laugh, and I laugh... a lot! I only want people to understand that sorrow has the potential to be the best thing that could ever happen to us. And since we all face it at some point in our lives we need to utilize the time wisely. Without sadness, many of us would never turn to God... and He knows this. When we are weak, He is strong. I believe God takes pleasure in showing us how mighty He is... especially when the enemy is trying so hard to make us focus on our weaknesses. Because I continuously turned to God in the midst of my mess, I can honestly say that I have reached a constant point of joy, peace, and love in my life... It surpasses all understanding. And I'm still growing. But ONLY because of the grace, mercy, and love that God gives to me every second of every day. Although my circumstances have not always been easy, I am very blessed to have three beautiful and healthy children who have great fathers that help me (physically and financially) without a moments pause. We have terrific relationships and I don't have to deal with the so-called "drama" that so many single mothers and fathers have to deal with. It's really quite amazing how God has blessed me in spite of my foolishness. I am forever grateful for the good times and even more grateful for all the bad times.