My Wake Up Call...Part 1

My discerning nature told me it was "him" on the other end of the phone when it unexpectedly rang. Waiting desperately by the phone to see his name and number pop up on the caller ID had become my most frequent pastime which seemed like cruel and unusual punishment. "Hello?"...from the first words spoken and the tone of his voice, I somehow knew it was the end of the end. It was the conversation I had spent months trying to avoid. I poured so much time, effort, and energy trying to protect myself from the very words which would be spoken. In a split second I realized those words were about to come like the running water from a waterfall with no chance of being reversed. My heart quickly journeyed to the pit of my stomach with the news that something bad was about to happen. In return, my stomach immediately began to churn with whirlwind speed. Once my heart found it's way back to my chest, it proceeded to pound profusely as if sounding the alarm that danger was near. Each beat felt like a punch to the chest from a heavy weight fighter and I was left taking deep breaths but not getting enough air to let breathing be successful. I had no choice but to brace myself and face the inevitable...

"I don't love you anymore...I love her." That was all it took...those eight words, which seemed harmless when spoken individually, were said together to convey a message that meant devastation for me. Since I was 7 months pregnant with my third child, those words meant that I would have three children, by three different men, and would still be alone. That was a reality which I was NOT ready to face. But I had no choice. Those eight words immediately caused the churning in my stomach to cease and the pounding of my heart to stop. Though my heart was still present, it was shattered into pieces and in no condition to perform the act of beating me in my chest. When the physical activity that was taking place within my body came to a halt, numbness enveloped me. During the few minutes in which my body was in a numb state, I imagined it was being filled with water...like a gigantic pot being filled with water under the steady stream of water from a faucet. When there was no more room left to hold the constant flow of water which was filling me up, it began to flow at record speed from my eyes in the form of tears. The end of the end had arrived.